I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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