he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
