That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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