no, he came in my armpit
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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