Whod you bang
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
