I want to have your abortion
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
