you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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