hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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