I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
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