That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
