true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
try to milk me bitch
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