My balls are so social today.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
