I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
