Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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