That's intense
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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