he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
