Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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