I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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