so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
COCAINE IS GR8
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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