Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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