Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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