My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
