i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
