i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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