Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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