Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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