Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
