I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm too high and old for this...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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