your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
