I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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