Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
do nipples grow back?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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