What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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