The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize