i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
