Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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