everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
