Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
