but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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