I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
