I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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