Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
