omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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