we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
