You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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