People in love make me want to vomit
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
