I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
