After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
