she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i came on her dog
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
