I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
