How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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