I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
