i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
