Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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